No, was the answer of the University. No, was the answer of the Universe. No. No. No. 

It's really a difficult situation for me right know. I'm lost, completely lost. I was and I am in a desperate need for a yes. A yes to life, a yes to progress, a yes to challenge, a yes to change, a yes to believe that positive thoughts and opportunities can exist, a yes to education, a yes to growing as an artist and designer. A yes, that never arrived.  

Instead, is No. No to dreams, No to believe, No to grow, No to learn, No to an education, No to change. Just No. 

I'm broken. I have fears living inside me right now, they are come back. I'm blind. I'm hurt in my deepest self. I'm an animal dying of loneliness and pain.  

I'm empty. I'm fragile. I'm a failure.  

I don't know how to reconstruct my being of all of this. I don't believe in love anymore.